How do I make the most of my therapy?

If you've never been to see a counsellor before, you may be thinking that it's the therapist's job to 'fix' your problems. While that admittedly sounds rather nice, even if it could be done, the next serious issue you faced would no doubt provoke a crisis. Hence the reality is that therapy isn't that simple. My job as the counsellor is to help you find your own inner resources to cope and make the changes that you need. Any good therapy is really a collaboration, the result of a safe, trusting and supportive relationship co-created by counsellor and client alike. So it makes sense that anything you can do to support your side of this relationship makes it's more likely that counselling will work well for you. Based on my own experience as a client and a counsellor, I've come up with some simple steps you can take to get more from your therapy:

BEFORE SESSION 1

1) Have a think about the areas you most want to work on. Write these down as short bullet points. This will help organise your thoughts and ensure you mention your most significant needs in your first session

2) Tell your therapist if you have a financial or time limit for your therapy. This will help them boundary the work and if your therapy is short-term, focus directly on the things that are troubling you most.

3) Try to think of any questions you may have about therapy in general, your counsellor's approach, or any worries you may have about the process. Your counsellor will be happy to clarify any concerns that you have, and this will make it easier for you to trust and feel at ease with them, so enhancing the early stages of your therapy.

DURING YOUR THERAPY

4) Allow yourself time before each session: I recall arriving late for therapy, running into the room and spending the first 5 minutes catching my breath and downing a glass of water - not the ideal start! So try to give yourself a few minutes to settle down before entering the counselling room.

5) It may feel awkward, but if financial worries arise do bring this up with your therapist. Counsellors genuinely want to help, and will provide options for you if they can.

AFTER YOUR SESSIONS

6) I always recommend to my clients that they allow themselves some time before getting back to the business of ‘normal life’. As well as being helpful, even life-changing, discussing emotional aspects of our lives can be both upsetting and tiring. So after your session take care of yourself by giving yourself time to pause, reflect and allow the session to sink in a bit. Personally, I found a quiet sit in my car, or a brief walk felt good and gave me time to let things sink in, and I’m convinced this helped me get more from my therapy.

BETWEEN YOUR SESSIONS

Journalling 

7) Try writing in a journal: For a lot of clients there’s something about putting thoughts and feelings on paper, and then reflecting on them, or trying out different perspectives that can really help strengthen the therapy process. It doesn’t have to be an essay or a well-crafted short story - bullet points, mind maps, drawings, really anything that helps you explore your own world can be really helpful.

Be kind to yourself!

8) Even the fact that you’ve started therapy can be seen as a new and vital reason for being kinder to yourself than you’ve ever been before. Your path to this point inevitably involved some kind of psychological pain and suffering, so if there’s ever a time to be kind to yourself, surely this is it.

Ask yourself how would you treat someone you love, or a close friend, or even a younger version of you if they were in this situation? What words or gestures would you use to express your care, concern and support for them? Experimenting with seeing your current difficulties from these perspectives, and trying to make the things you say to yourself kinder, gentler and more supportive are sure ways to make your therapy a more fulfilling and potentially life-changing experience.

Practice feeling Gratitude

9) Think of three things each day that make you feel grateful, or even just ok. It could be the smile of your partner, a song that you love, the heat of the sun, or the bracing chill in the morning. Really anything that helps you focus on what makes life better for you. Thinking about these things is a great step towards recalibrating your mind to notice the positives in your life, writing these down in a journal is even better:)

Look for moments of calm and joy 

10) Try to find things that help you feel calm or even bring moments of joy. Start to look out for anything that makes a positive or comforting shift in the way that you feel. Even if the relief is only fleeting, nurturing these things can eventually have a big cumulative effect.

Whether it’s meditating, playing an instrument, exercising, walking in nature, focusing on enjoying a hot drink, or engaging on a craft or art that your enjoy, any activity that help lift your mood and lowers levels of anxiety can be helpful and so enable you to deepen your engagement in therapy.

You may find that only one or two of these things work for you, but hopefully this blog will be a nudge towards you getting more out of your therapy 🙂

I really hope you've found this useful and your therapy brings about positive change for you.

If you feel ready to take the next step please phone or text me on 07870 135 986, or email me at andrew@brackenburycounselling.co.uk, and I’ll get back within 24 hours to arrange a free 20-30 minute pre-therapy consultation to see if counselling could work for you